‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, Parent Style (Full Text)

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,

Crumbs and toys were scattered everywhere; there was a sandwich on the couch.

The ornaments were strewn on the floor by the tree,

As the twinadoes had pulled them all off with great glee.

The children were running in their footed pajamas,

Not yet feeling tired and yelling, “Watch, Mama!”

The girls chased the dogs with giggles galore,

Dressing the poor animals in hats and Christmas decor.

The hubs in his jeans and I in my sweats,

Were laughing at the chaos unfolding in our midst.

When up from the kitchen arose such a clatter!

We rushed in to see the hat-wearing dog licking an empty cookie platter.

I ran as fast as my angry legs could go,

Chasing that beagle right out in the snow.

The toddlers flew to the window to see such a sight,

Their mama yelling at the dog on a freezing cold night.

With the moon on the crest of the dead flowers in the planter,

I yelled loudly at the dog, “Those cookies were for Santa!”

When the girls realized poor Santa’s treats were gone,

They begin to wail, scream and loudly carry on.

I trudged back inside as the hubs comforted our brood,

Determined to keep this tragedy from ruining the mood.

We tried to read a sweet Christmas book,

But it seemed each page was interrupted by an, “I pooped!”

After many busy hours the kids were finally sleeping,

But the hubs and I had work to do; to the basement we went creeping.

We had forgotten a pile of presents we’d hidden;

There was wrapping to do and cards to be written.

Assembling the giant trampoline did not happen with ease,

As the directions on the box seemed written in Japanese.

Then upstairs to the stockings we dragged our old selves,

Wishing for some help from some energetic, younger elves.

Finally, finally, at dawn’s early light,

We crawled wearily into bed, ready to call it a night.

When out from the hall popped two tiny heads.

“Mama, Daddy, it’s Christmas! Get out of bed!”

With extra strong coffee and all the cheerfulness we could fake,

Those sweet little hands down the hall we did take.

They had so much joy and childlike glee,

Both of which erased the exhaustion of the all night spree.

You see, children are worth every stress and all-nighter,

Even with the tantrums, the cries and the extra nasty diapers.

So may this tale bring you joy, and on my behalf,

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good laugh!


Here is the link to the original posting on the Greeley Tribune website:



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