Husbands and dads, this post is for you. The role of mom is a tough one. Whether we work outside of the home or stay home full time, it’s a hard job. Here are a few things we’d like for you to know for Valentine’s Day but probably don’t tell you very often:
- We’d love an excuse to get dressed up for you. Yoga pants and work clothes get pretty dull some days, and any chance to put on a cute dress and fix up a little bit is welcomed.
- Sometimes we are insecure about our looks after pregnancy and nursing and just time passing in general, and we love to hear you say that we are beautiful. LOVE it.
- We miss those quiet nights of snuggling while watching a movie or getting dinner as just the two of us. We love the kids and wouldn’t trade our lives for the world, but sometimes it is really nice to have an evening where things are like they used to be, even if it’s just for an hour or two.
- We greatly appreciate it when you make even the smallest effort to make plans for us. We mamas tend to take a planning role all day long, and to have someone else say, “We’re going here to dinner tonight and I’ve already called this sitter,” is music to our ears.
- Your touch is the best. Whether it’s a hand on the small of the back when you get home or brushing a wisp of hair out of our faces, the tiniest little gesture like that means you still see the girl you fell in love with underneath the tired mom we see in the mirror.
- All of those little things you do, like moving the trash cans to the curb every week, waking up early to shovel snow or proof reading yet another blog post, mean SO much. We probably don’t say thank you often enough, but our lives are made so much easier by your servant heart for your family.
- Little gifts like flowers and chocolate are nice, but spending time together means more in the long run. We’d rather have $50 concert tickets than $50 of flowers, especially if the concert can be a kids-free event.
- Even a small, thoughtful gesture like waking up early to make breakfast for the family is huge. It shows that you are considerate and caring, and it warms our hearts. The small things sometimes matter the most.
- Playing with and loving our children speaks volumes about you as a man. We love to see you loving our babies and taking an active, team-player approach in raising kids.
- A man running a vacuum or doing the dishes is so sexy. Thank you for not living in the 1950’s and being a part of all of the household activities which your father may or may not have done. It shows your commitment to us and to the family.
So guys, I hope this little list can help you come up with a few Valentine’s Day ideas. A little consideration, a little thought and a lot of love will most likely melt the heart of the woman in your life. You still have 24 hours to make it happen!
This post was originally published on the Greeley Mom’s page of the Greeley Tribune website:
One of my very dearest friends found out just last week she is expecting twins. Twins! The really exciting part is my friend also has a toddler who is almost the same age as my girls (just turning 2), so she will be living in the very deep end in a few short months.
We have been talking twins, twins and TWINS lately because of her news, and I thought some of our conversations might be helpful or useful for other moms out there who are in the deep end, too. I’d love to add on to it with advice from other mamas out there in the blogging world!
Ten Things You Need to Know About Your Twin Pregnancy
- Let yourself feel the spectrum of emotions: Fearful, excited, joyful, overwhelmed…and then take a deep breath and say a prayer of thankfulness. God sees something in you or He wouldn’t be blessing you with these babies. You can do this!
- Order or borrow the Dr. Luke book ASAP. It will be your scary best friend for the next few months.
- Be prepared to be frustrated with the lack of twin pregnancy info out there. Almost all of the pregnancy websites and apps are only devoted to a singleton pregnancy, and twins are a different ball game. This is why the Dr. Luke book is so important.
- You will likely need maternity clothes pretty early. Try to buy your tops 1-2 sizes bigger than what you would think you’ll need. I had a sales person at Motherhood Maternity find me some tunic-type tops that she thought I could “size jump” in, meaning they wouldn’t look too big to wear right away and would give me plenty of room to cover a giant twin belly in a few weeks. Those were the only tops I could still wear in the final weeks…all of the cute medium and small tops I bought in the beginning couldn’t cover my belly at the end!
- Find and connect with other twin moms as soon as you can. I was fortunate enough to have a very close cousin who had twins (and bought me the Dr. Luke book!) and who was an amazing resource for me. I also “stalked” a twin mom in Target to ask about her double stroller, and we became friends. She and the other twin moms I met along the way were a HUGE help to me.
- Consider seeing a high-risk obstetrician or a maternal-fetal specialist. You may decide you want to have extra eyes on your babies and to track your cervical length to prevent pre-term labor. This high-risk OB can just be on your team with your normal OB and not take over your care. It’s a personal choice especially if you are having a healthy pregnancy, but it’s one of those things you don’t want to look back after you’ve encountered some unexpected problem and say, “I wish I had seen an additional doctor.” These doctors specialize in twins and can give you additional reassurance and opinions throughout your pregnancy.
- When friends and family find out you’re having twins, you may get some unusual questions. Everyone wants to know about fertility treatments or “natural” babies…your fertility suddenly becomes an acceptable topic of conversation when you’re having twins! Don’t be afraid to politely smile and change the topic.
- Try to stay off of the internet because so many scary and sad twin pregnancy stories are out there. You don’t want to be extra stressed, and not all twins are born incredibly premature. Many twin moms carry their babies to full term!
- Work on nursery preparations as early as you can just in case you are too tired or on bed rest during the final weeks of your pregnancy. The final weeks of a twin pregnancy are exhausting. You’ll likely be measuring WAY ahead (I was measuring 46 weeks at my 37 week appointment–as big as a singleton pregnancy that is 6 weeks overdue!) and will be tired at the end. Knowing your house is ready to bring the babies home will make it easier on you to rest at the end.
- Before buying any twin gear, visit with a few different twin mamas or read a few different twin blogs. There are some things you might not need to buy in a pair and others which you absolutely MUST have two. The same goes for strollers–do some research with mamas who have been there before you buy anything. (I found one double stroller I was given was too bulky for me to manage by myself and wouldn’t fit in any doorways, and the stroller I ended up buying AFTER getting recommendations from other twin moms was absolutely worth it.)
Okay twin mamas–what else needs to go on this Top Ten for a Twin Pregnancy list? Let’s help my friend out! If you’d like to share a link to your twin blog, I’m sure she’d appreciate that, too, so feel free to post a link in the comments!
Oh toddlers…and middle schoolers…and even adults some days! The following reasons for tantrums were submitted on the Living in the Deep End Facebook page or have happened in my house. Enjoy!
10. My twin looked at me! My life is over!
9. My twin didn’t look at me! My life is over!
8. You’re making me go to a parade! No one has fun at those things! You’re the worst mother ever!
7. You took off my clothes before my bath! How dare you!
6. You gave me the wrong towel! My life is over!
5. Someone pooped in my diaper! How dare they!
4. You expect me to smile for a picture? In a teacup? This is ridiculous! (See photo below).
3. You replaced the old bathroom floor with a new, improved floor! How dare you change things on me!
2. You took away my imaginary friend! My life is over!
1. I want to fly up and touch the stars! What do you mean I don’t have wings? My life is ruined!
Life is so hard…any tantrums you’d add to the list?